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Archive for July, 2010

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~ W.C. Fields.    (more or less)

* Women are like Elephants, amazing to look at but you wouldn’t want to own one.

* After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

* I always keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake — which I also keep handy.

* Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

* The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

* Once … in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

* You can’t cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.

* I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

* I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

* A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

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For more of the ilk – “you can quote  Me”

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